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Managing
meals in a "mixed" marriage
February 19, 04
Suzanne Havala Hobbs
Some
food fights are easy to settle.
He likes creamy peanut butter, but you like chunky? Buy two
jars. Big deal.
But not all differences in eating styles are as easy to handle.
You may have resolved to improve your eating habits. But if
others in your household haven’t, the mealtime challenges
that can result may strain relationships.
And that can make it more difficult to meet your health goals.
You may, for instance, be the chief cook in your family --
a family accustomed to traditional foods high in saturated
fat and low in fiber. A family that expects to find certain
junk foods when they open the pantry door.
How do you cope with different eating styles within the same
family? Cook two meals for the same table? Stop buying the
foods others want to enjoy?
There are no easy answers. But addressing the issue in a straightforward
way can minimize conflicts and help you create a supportive
home environment.
One approach entails compromise. But finding a middle ground
shouldn’t mean settling for foods that aren’t
good for you.
A few strategies:
• Find the healthful ìleast common denominator.î
Make a list of foods that meet your nutritional criteria but
that your family will also enjoy. Good examples: Navy bean
soup, pasta primavera, baked potatoes, bean chili, red beans
and rice, and spaghetti with marina sauce.
Other foods can be individualized without requiring you to
fix two separate meals. Serve bean burritos or tacos, for
instance, and let those who want to add grated cheese and
sour cream. Eat yours with chopped tomato, lettuce, salsa
and plain yogurt instead. Or fix a vegetable stir-fry and
steamed rice. Let others add chunks of meat if they want it.
• Eat what you can of a traditional family meal. Skip
the country-fried steak. Enjoy the mashed potatoes and double
up on the green beans. Fill your plate with green salad.
• If you eat out, pick a restaurant with options for
everyone. Think it through before you leave home. It may mean
that the barbecue joint is out, but that still leaves Chinese,
Italian, Greek -- and even some steak houses with expansive
salad bars and baked potatoes.
Other strategies can also make family members more receptive
to new foods. Keep in mind: You are asking them to trade in
foods that may be longstanding favorites.
Some tips to consider:
• Get them involved. People who have a hand in meal
planning are more likely to eat the food. Grow some of your
own veggies and herbs, ask for input into meal ideas, grocery
shop together, toss a salad with your kids, and plan menus
together.
• Set an example. Quietly. If you preach and push others
to do what they aren’t ready to do, you’ll meet
with resistance. Instead, let your actions speak. Given time,
others will notice, get interested, and make some changes
of their own. I’ve seen it happen many times.
• Put your best food forward. People care about how
food tastes. Appearances also matter a lot. Food presented
attractively looks like it tastes good. Set an attractive
table. Use clean tablecloths or placemats. Arrange foods with
a little flair. Even a snip of parsley or a slice of fruit
on the side makes a difference.
Finally,
put on a happy face. If you’re upbeat about food, others
will be more likely to feel good about it, too. But don’t
overdo it. Overzealousness can be a turnoff. Just be yourself,
and your family will more likely share your enthusiasm.
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